Category Archives: Relationships

What to do When People Don’t Listen to You

There is nothing ruder and more frustrating than speaking to someone and they clearly aren’t listening to you. While the fact that they aren’t listening says more about them you, if you notice a pattern of people not listening when you speak it may be worthwhile to check-in to your own speaking habits.

According to an article in PR Daily, less than two percent of all people have had formal education on how to listen. Odds are there are a Lot of people not truly listening! But you can’t do much about other people’s listening skills.

Good communication begins and ends with you, as you are the only one you can control. Regardless if you are speaking or listening you want to feel good about how you handled your end of things and most importantly that you kept to your values and goals in the conversation.

The truth is if you feel people frequently aren’t listening to you you can feel disrespected, misunderstood, frustrated, embarrassed and your self-esteem can even plummet.

If you find when you speak people drift away and don’t listen, and again this is more than one person — you see a pattern here, follow these communication guidelines and see if changing your speaking style is in order.

When you speak are you:

  • Brief
  • Positive
  • Specific
  • Honest
  • Authentic
  • Coming from a place of love

If your speaking style meets this criteria for the most part, trying to understand the other person’s lack of engagement can be another route to take. Arrogance, pride, defensiveness, boredom and not wanting to be wrong are just a few reasons people tune-out.

Listening is, in fact, hard work and many people don’t realize they aren’t good listeners. As the speaker, your job is to be sure you are communicating as clearly as possible and evaluate if there is a different/better way to get your point across.

Struggling with listening or being heard? Reach out for a complimentary consultation with Kelly now!

Save

Save

Are Your Relationships Unconsciously Affecting Your Business?

Most of us spend thousands of hours working on ourselves and striving for more. We have a vision and are going all out for it! We invest in our personal growth and development. We hire coaches. We may even do yoga or change our diet or exercise to put ourselves in a different space. We read books and attend training’s in order to discover what our next steps are to achieving happiness and success.

We strive to hone our skills and strengthen our energy, and yet it doesn’t stick. We continue to struggle to achieve our goals, which seem to be right there and then we lose it! The goals we KNOW are in alignment with our purpose and passion and that are rightfully ours are always a step or two away.

One often overlooked area that negates all the work we do is the people we surround ourselves with.

relationship picWhen you think about your relationships what might first come to mind is your partner, children and immediate family. And there is absolutely no doubt these people play an integral role in where you are today. Books have been written on the subject and the self-healing involved in examining these relationships is something I believe all of us should examine on the roadway to conscious living. They are in our lives from a young age for a reason!

However, beyond that, in order to maintain the higher energy of the work we do – to set a goal, achieve it, and keep it so we embody that new space of being – we need to take a look at ALL of our relationships and make conscious choices about who we let into our space.

Your friends are a great example. It can be wonderful having lifelong friends, friends that you’ve known since childhood. There is a familiarity, a security and a comfort in spending time with them. But odds are the Kelly that met them 20 years ago is not the same Kelly that you are today – particularly if you are consciously involved in personal growth and development.

I encourage you to take time now to evaluate if these friends know you as you were, or as you are now. How do you feel after you spend time with them?

The next place to take a look is your business friends – you have some, right? This is specifically a different role than your personal friends. Your business friends should be consciously hand-chosen and ideally be in a place you want to go. Pay attention to your conversations and how they view business and life.

Do you find yourself chatting it up with your business friends and it’s the same conversation you’ve always had? Do you find you are spending your time giving advice rather than getting it?

Your business friends should stretch you. What were the last 3 books or resources recommended to you? If you find you’ve outgrown or become stagnant with your business friends it’s time to consciously up-level.

Protecting and controlling your energy is vital to your growth and success – and yes, that means guarding who you allow to enter your space.

It’s not always easy, but as you grow it’s normal and healthy that the people you surround yourself with change too.

It’s up to you to make conscious choices on who you permit in your space and to go out with intention and find ones that push you to grow.

Listen to the Fresh Tracks with Kelly Robbins podcast and get more in-depth training on how relationships are affecting you here.

 

Save