There is nothing ruder and more frustrating than speaking to someone and they clearly aren’t listening to you. While the fact that they aren’t listening says more about them you, if you notice a pattern of people not listening when you speak it may be worthwhile to check-in to your own speaking habits.
According to an article in PR Daily, less than two percent of all people have had formal education on how to listen. Odds are there are a Lot of people not truly listening! But you can’t do much about other people’s listening skills.
Good communication begins and ends with you, as you are the only one you can control. Regardless if you are speaking or listening you want to feel good about how you handled your end of things and most importantly that you kept to your values and goals in the conversation.
The truth is if you feel people frequently aren’t listening to you you can feel disrespected, misunderstood, frustrated, embarrassed and your self-esteem can even plummet.
If you find when you speak people drift away and don’t listen, and again this is more than one person — you see a pattern here, follow these communication guidelines and see if changing your speaking style is in order.
When you speak are you:
- Coming from a place of love
If your speaking style meets this criteria for the most part, trying to understand the other person’s lack of engagement can be another route to take. Arrogance, pride, defensiveness, boredom and not wanting to be wrong are just a few reasons people tune-out.
Listening is, in fact, hard work and many people don’t realize they aren’t good listeners. As the speaker, your job is to be sure you are communicating as clearly as possible and evaluate if there is a different/better way to get your point across.