What Good Will You Do With Your Love?
June 9, 2025
Loss, Grief, and Spiritual Healing
Allowing grief to run its course can be challenging. However, in the long run, it is the only way to move past the pain.
When we lose a loved one, the pain can feel unbearable. And while we may intellectually understand that the pain will pass, it doesn’t ease the hurt in our hearts.
Instinctively, we don’t want to sit in the pain, and we search for ways to make it stop. We push ourselves to go return to our regular daily routine, perhaps chastising ourselves for being weak if we don’t move forward.
Ultimately, we end up hurting ourselves when we avoid grieving, because it just stays stuffed in our body to rear its ugly head at some later point in time.
Here are a few things you can do to facilitate the grieving process and begin to heal:
- Take some time to say goodbye. Particularly in a sudden death, we never have the opportunity to say goodbye. Write down your thoughts and feelings. Share good memories and express specific events and moments.
- Another option is to set up a chair or hold a picture and talk to your loved one as if they were there. Share what they meant to you and anything else that comes to mind. You can also switch roles, putting yourself in their shoes, and talk to you. What might they say to you? This can be a strong way to create closure.
- Have a memorial service or celebration of life. The ritual of saying goodbye and honoring someone’s life is ancient. Even if it’s a small, casual gathering, this ritual is an important part of the healing process. Today, families are less likely to hold a memorial service for a variety of reasons. It doesn’t have to be a religious ceremony to honor someone’s life.
- Don’t pressure yourself to move on by a certain date. Grief doesn’t have a timeline. Grief comes in waves and can pop up in unexpected moments. Don’t judge it, try to allow it. In order to release our emotions, we need to feel them. Allow them to flow through our bodies. Allowing the grief is how we release it. While you may not be able to stay away from work and your daily routine forever, you can carve out some specific time in your day/week that provides space for grieving. A time where you allow and welcome the grief.
- Don’t focus on regrets, things you said or wish you had said, or things you might have done differently. You can’t change the past. Focusing on our guilt does not change the past. What we can do is ensure we respond differently to others in the future.
- Honor your physical body. You may be more tired than usual, having trouble sleeping, notice changes in eating habits, feel tension, and more. Caring for your physical body right now is an act of self-love. We heal from the inside out. Taking time to slow down, turn inwards, and breathe is healthy. It is normal to feel lethargic when grieving. It is your body’s way of encouraging you to slow down and care for yourself. Coping with the loss of someone you love is one of life’s biggest challenges.
These rituals are ancient ways of saying goodbye and healing through grieving. Are you struggling to move through your grief? Inquire about a spiritual counseling session.