What Really Happens When You Betray Yourself?

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The biggest hurt I’ve experienced in my life was a betrayal by someone close to me. Like all betrayals, it caught me off guard and the truth is I didn’t recognize that it was a betrayal when it happened. It wasn’t an obvious betrayal such as someone cheating on me or someone close unexpectedly stealing money. But it was a betrayal none the less. 

It took time to heal from that betrayal. To learn what it meant to me and why it happened in the first place. Our Fresh Tracks podcast guest, Debi Silber, speaks to us about healing from betrayal. She shares the five stages of healing from every betrayal as well as why it’s important to make meaning from the event in order to move forward. 

Knowing how painful betrayal is and how it shatters our trust in such a powerful way, I thought it would be useful to investigate what it means to betray yourself. 

Let’s take a look at some of the ways we betray our self:

  • Making decisions because we fear the disapproval of others.
  • Hiding who we are and trying to be who we think we should be to fit in.
  • Thinking that people won’t love us if they know who we really are.
  • Not voicing our opinion because we don’t want to rock the boat.
  • Living our life in a way others want us to instead of how we choose to.
  • Staying in a job we hate just to pay the bills, when we know there is something better for us.
  • Not being our self because of someone else’s opinion.
  • Being untrue or dishonest with our self.

What quickly happens is you don’t trust yourself to keep your word or that you will follow through with things. Which leads to disliking yourself and not living an authentic life. You struggle to create with intention and purpose. 

Think you may have fallen into the self-betrayal trap? Here are a few steps you can take to stop this sabotaging pattern…

  • Acknowledge the different ways you betray yourself.
  • Take responsibility for your choices.
  • Commit to honoring and loving yourself.

Trusting ourselves is one of the most important ways we create and manifest our lives with intention. Self-love is the opposite of self-betrayal. Accepting who we are and unconditionally loving where we’ve been is the path to embodying that we are whole and complete human beings, allowing us to add meaning and purpose in the world.

Having a difficult time seeing the truth for yourself? A Spiritual Coaching Session with Kelly will do just that for you. Schedule one here now. 

Is Self-Expression a Spiritual Endeavor?

Have you ever thought about how fully and freely you express yourself? Do you express yourself more freely in some situations than others? How does self-expression play a role in creating your Fresh Tracks?  

Self-expression is a display of your personality. It’s having an awareness of you and your YOUness from within and expressing that in your life. Expressing yourself is how you share yourself with the world.

Authentic self-expression is how people get to know the real you, and it allows you to develop closer relationships with people, be accepted for who you truly are, and ultimately live a life of freedom because you’re clearly being you.

When you are expressing yourself, people see your true personality, your individuality. People can feel your true character and spirit, which is as unique and individual as you are. 

We often hear people discussing the importance of authenticity. It’s important to be authentic and just as valuable to express that! Our Fresh Tracks podcast guest this week, Lola Wright, talks about authenticity, self-expression and the important role being you plays in society as a whole.

Self-expression is about more than authenticity. It’s being authentic and not hiding it. Self-expression requires self-esteem and confidence to show and express yourself, no matter who’s around or where you are. 

As teenagers grow they often try on different hats on the road to discovering who they are. There is a certain point in early middle school where each of my kids discovered their taste in music. You could see them trying on different genres to see which they preferred, and what response they got from others to each genre. We frequently see people expressing themselves boldly with tattoos and piercings, words, clothing, hairstyle, music.

Be aware there is a fine line between expressing yourself and the “look at me” syndrome, which is based in external validation rather coming from an internal, soulful power.

It can be said that we are always expressing ourselves, even if it’s something we may not want to be expressing, such as lack of power or hiding. The more connected we are with ourselves the more authentic our expression is. By not expressing yourself you are denying the world your beautiful bright light. The song of your soul.

Sharing yourself fully is a spiritual endeavor, offering the world your generosity, authenticity, and pureness of spirit. The world is craving your authenticity and what’s needed of you is to express who you are. Unashamedly. Proudly. Boldly.

I have spent way too many years of my life not feeling confident or comfortable enough to express myself. Feeling like it was more important to fit in and be like everyone else rather than be myself. I conformed rather than expressed.

Are there places in your life where you don’t feel you are safe to express yourself? Are you holding back or doing what you think is the right thing to do rather than expressing yourself?

Simply ask yourself the questions and be aware. Listen. How DO you choose to self-express? 

Having a difficult time seeing the truth for yourself? A Spiritual Coaching Session with Kelly will do just that for you. Schedule one here now. 

The Art of Believing in Yourself

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Believing in yourself is one of those things that is completely in your control yet seems to allude many of us our entire lives. Why? Because there is not a step-by-step formula for success. There is not a one-size fits all answer each of us can follow and be guaranteed confidence and self-esteem. And yet, the key to believing in our selves lies within each of us. Accessible in every moment of every day.

Our thoughts about our self are the main force behind our beliefs.

Are you aware of what are you saying to yourself day after day? In each moment? Are you aware of the conversations going on in your head? Are there other people talking to you (in your head) – such as your parents, your boss or partner? Are you repeating the same negative statements to other people over and over again?

Taking control of the conversations with yourself is the first step to believing in yourself.

Believing in yourself is an art because the journey to knowing you will achieve a goal or successfully accomplish a difficult task is different for each of us. And it requires you to be creative. To look at yourself and your beliefs differently.

Untangling the knots

Imagine your thoughts, that incessant internal conversation going on in your mind, as a big ball of string all tangled up. Each string is a statement or conversation thread. Your job is to first recognize a string, pull it out and separate it from all the others. And then determine if it is your string or not. Is this statement true? Is this me talking or someone else? Do I choose this string for me today? This string may have served you when you were young, but no longer does today.

YOUR strings are the truth about yourself. They are loving, kind, supportive statements and beliefs. They are your true Spiritual self, which is never unkind or unloving.

Other people’s strings are knotted up in your ball. And there are strings that you have taken as yours but do not speak and know your truth. Your job is to evaluate each string and make a conscious decision to keep it or not.

In order for you to believe in yourself you need to not only master your thoughts, but ensure your beliefs support you and aren’t tearing you down at every turn.

Fresh Tracker John Allcock shares on the Fresh Tracks podcast that “awareness gives us the power to realize we are choosing to listen to negative thoughts and the choice to choose positive thoughts”. The art of believing in yourself requires some introspection, examination, and trust.

Curating the awareness of your thoughts, your beliefs, your intentions is how you begin to believe in yourself.

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Are You Failing or this Part of the Growth Process?

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The journey to bringing your dreams to fruition can seem long. Filled with ups and downs, twists and turns, any Soul can be filled with anguish and frustration in the anticipation of their desires and the roller coaster ride getting them there!

Doing anything for the first time, let alone creating a big vision, is not usually a direct shot and it’s important you learn to discern when to change direction and when to quit.

Quitting is a choice – it is not an outcome.

Failure is a judgement. An opinion – it is not an outcome.

Changing direction is a guided choice. It is movement.

As you continue to search for different ways to produce different results, different paths will appear. How do you determine if you should follow them? When is it taking you off your path your path and when is it moving you forward?

By its very nature, as we create Fresh Tracks, we are doing things we have never done before and we are forced to make decisions. Often tough ones.

In our Fresh Tracks podcast interview with Rhett Power, he shares two important things with us about his ability to keep going on to build a multi-million-dollar business despite the appearance of failure.

  1. He knows and respects his own tolerance level.
  2. He does not go into anything with a plan B. He expects to achieve his goal and not achieving it is not a possible outcome.

Are you worried about failing? Here are a few guidelines for you to follow when manifesting something big:

  • Don’t share your vision with others. Particularly when you are practicing spiritual principles (along with taking the action required!). Other people will most likely doubt your abilities, especially if they are not studying spiritual principles themselves.
  • Humanity has a collective consciousness that vibrates at a certain level. Do your best to take yourself out of it so you can rise to your own higher level. Study, practice, take action, and insulate yourself with power and faith of understanding and consciously utilizing Universal Principles.
  • Trust your intuition. Discerning between fear and your internal GPS system can take practice yet is important as they are both different and distinct feedback.
  • Ask yourself probing questions such as “Am I listening to my intuition or am I forcing something that should be let go?”

Don’t be seduced by the hypnotic trance of fear. There is nothing outside of you that has authority and dominion over your life, says Lola Wright, Spiritual Director at Bodhi Spiritual Center.

Assessing whether you are experiencing fear or your intuition is speaking to you is vital in determining your next step and avoiding failure.

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Understanding Universal Law

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Discovering your beliefs, particularly beliefs that don’t support you in creating Fresh Tracks, is an important part of changing the results in your life.

When looking at beliefs we must start at the beginning. Where do we come from and what are we made of? It’s important to understand we all have access to the same tools and come from the same substance. How we use this substance is what varies and is why some people seem to achieve their goals easily while others struggle. 

One of my favorite quotes is by the great teacher Thomas Troward. He said “Principle is not bound by precedent.” To me this means that just because I have always gotten a certain result—such as never making more than $20,000 a month in my business—doesn’t mean I can’t make more than $20,000 a month in my business (precedent). Most of us can easily agree with this.

The subtlety in this statement is: what does Principle mean?

Principle is Universal Law, and to create our lives with intention we all need to know, understand, and master what IS possible. What is Universal Law? What is Principle and where am I following it and where am I not following it?

Universal Laws cross all religions and are spiritual truths by which we all live. They are simply truths.

If you are struggling to create a change in your life, or certain parts of your life are not working, you are struggling because you are not following a Universal Law correctly.

If you don’t even know what they are it’s hard to determine if you are following them correctly!

Why are Universal Laws important to know and understand? Because many of our beliefs (both conscious and unconscious) are not in alignment with Universal Law. In fact, some of our beliefs contradict the laws and that is why understanding these may be the most important thing you learn and study right now.

Be open to the fact that if you are not receiving a result in your life it is because you are not following a Universal Law. Yet you might be doing what YOU KNOW TO BE TRUE. And what you know to be true may be wrong.

Recognize where you have a belief that is not in alignment with a Universal Truth, and then see where this untrue belief is stopping you from creating what you want in life. Following this process is a game changer and can make creating your Fresh Tracks effortless!

About Kelly Robbins

Kelly Robbins is the producer of the Fresh Tracks with Kelly Robbins podcast and the author of Trust Your Next Step: Creating the Confidence to Cut Fresh Tracks.

A proven leader, master communicator and teacher, Kelly’s 17 year track record helping others catapult their lives and careers by creating Fresh Tracks is unprecedented. Today she helps others live their divine purpose, experience life as a fun adventure, and trust their next step always.

Kelly has a masters degree in Communications from the University of Denver and is a licensed practitioner with the Centers for Spiritual Living.

 

3 Steps to Stop Fear From Stopping You

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It’s terrifying and is something we avoid experiencing at all costs. It can sneak up on us in the most unexpected ways, often paralyzing us mid-step. And yet, it’s a perfectly normal and natural occurrence we all have.

Fear. It’s part of the human experience. Some of us experience it more frequently than others and, the more we push ourselves to experience new things and to expand, the more likely we are to experience fear frequently.

Fear is both an instinct and an emotion. The chemical response, the adrenaline, is instinctual to everyone, while the emotion of fear is unique to each person. Different things will trigger fear in different people.

Let’s take a deeper look at fear and when we should pay attention to it and when we should keep going in spite of it.

Instinctual fear vs. Emotional fear

Fear pops up for two reasons and it’s your job to learn to differentiate between the two. There’s instinctual fear that protects you from being eaten by tigers and not killed by passing cars. This fear saves lives.  

And then there’s fear that appears when we are afraid because we are stepping beyond our comfort zone – creating Fresh Tracks. In this instance your body physically responds as if you are about to be eaten by a tiger, adrenaline courses through your body, your heart beats rapidly. Your instinct is to save yourself from danger, except it’s not from a tiger, it’s from yourself!

You are afraid because you are pushing past the edge of what you know to be safe. Examples of this may be asking for a promotion, raising your rates, or speaking in public.

In both instances your body is responding in the same way, however you don’t need to react the same way. So how do you discern the difference between the two?

  1. Be aware. Start by learning how you react when you are afraid. Get to know yourself. Do you shut down? Hide out in your house? Get quiet? Drink? Run away? Blame others?
  2. Practice recognizing the difference between the two types of fear. Having the consciousness to recognize your body is responding to something and your life is not on the line is the beginning.
  3. Recognize fear as it’s happening. Make a conscious decision to keep going in spite of fear.

In my podcast interview with Dr. Friedemann Schaub, he shares tips for how to recognize your fear and anxiety patterns and how they can impact your ability to cut Fresh Tracks.

The ability to differentiate between the two types of fear is mandatory to learning to trust yourself and to push past the invisible boundaries you keep hitting in your struggles. 

Part of the journey to creating Fresh Tracks, trusting yourself, and living a life of purpose is self-awareness. Take the time to learn about you. How is emotional fear thwarting your drive to cut Fresh Tracks?

Discover the Next Steps to Your Fresh Tracks in Kelly’s free video training here now. 

 

Forget Not Playing Small. Are You Living Large?

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In today’s world I find we talk more about “not playing small” than we do about “living large”. I don’t believe that serves us because the two are, in fact, incredibly different things. The wording even feels different – say each out loud and see for yourself. They are different vibrations and have different meanings and intentions.

The lens you look at your life through to “not be small” is different than the lens you look through to ‘live large”. I encourage each of us to feel into and create what we DO want, not focus on avoiding what we don’t want. Why? Because thoughts are things!

Less debt or more wealth?

Playing small vs living large is similar to focusing on creating abundance rather than getting out of debt. The two are different and require different approaches. When you have a goal of getting out of debt you are focusing on what you don’t want, debt. What you put your attention on expands. So, we want to focus our attention on creating abundance. That’s what we want more of. The same holds true for living a large life vs a small life. 

This week we are exploring what it means to live large.

As our Fresh Tracks podcast guest Elizabeth Crook shares, the more we live large the happier and healthier we will be. Living in a way that aligns our purpose, our values, what energizes us, our talents and synchronizes that with the impact we want to have on our families, our businesses and the world allows us to live a large life.

Marianne Williamson has a famous quote “Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.” I love this statement because it rings true! 

The question then becomes; at what moment do I make a decision to play small rather than live large? 

Here are a few questions to ask yourself and see:

  1. Are you living your life for yourself or other people? Are you allowing others to dictate your choices and actions?
  2. If you died today, would you die fulfilled? Have you lived your life to the fullest? Do you give each day your fullest?
  3. Do you live with intention and purpose? When was the last time you did something that scared you? That you pushed yourself.
  4. Where is your personality or sense of self out of balance? 

Take some time and think about, perhaps journal, what it means to YOU to live large. What can you do today to do more of that? 

Discover the Next Steps to Your Fresh Tracks in Kelly’s free video training here now. 

Celebrate my Fresh Tracks

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I have an exciting announcement I’d like to share in lieu of our feature article in this issue.

After five years of studying, practicing, and training I am now a Licensed Practitioner with the Centers for Spiritual Living. I feel a huge sense of accomplishment and strength now that I have completed the training and am officially licensed.

What does this licensing mean and how can I use it to serve you are just a few of the questions I am asking myself as I bask in the newness of my new role as a practitioner.

The Journey

I started taking classes about five years ago to better understand Universal Law because I was (and still am) completely fascinated with what it is and how it works. If we are each responsible for our own expression of life and we aren’t living a life we love, how do we change it? Is it different for you than for me and if so, why?

Over the last five years I have trained extensively on understanding and mastering Universal Law, Spiritual Principles and how the use (or misuse) of them effects our lives. How does consciously understanding and using the natural laws of the universe effect our lives and our ability to cut Fresh Tracks? Our ability to make money? Have healthy relationships? Experience physical and mental health? Enjoy a lucrative career? Not feel lost and alone?

I had learned quite a bit about Universal Law in the extensive business coaching I’ve done over the last 11 years and I realize there is a personal power in understanding how to consciously manifest. In fact, my book, Trust Your Next Step, has a full chapter (Chapter 5) that goes in-depth on the use of Universal Law. However, the practitioner training I completed took this understanding to a new and deeper level.

Does Spirituality belong in business and marketing conversations? Absolutely yes. Mastering the energy that flows in, as and through us is vital to our health, growth, expansion, and ability to contribute and serve.

Here’s what I do know. The coaching I do has the potential to go much deeper with people. In addition to the coaching I currently offer, I will now offer individual, one-time, private sessions that include affirmative prayer and teaching/revealing spiritual truths in any area of your life. In our session you will develop the tools to take charge of your life through effective thinking and spiritual understanding by exploring your own power and potential.

My Fresh Tracks involve owning and embracing myself as a Spiritual leader, author, speaker, coach and teacher. As such, I’m taking the teachings from my book a step further:

I thank you for being with me on this journey and I look forward to both of us continuing to cut Fresh Tracks!

 

3 Steps to Trusting Your Decisions

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Making decisions can be tough. Particularly when you are creating Fresh Tracks and stepping into new and uncharted territory. Why is making a decision so difficult when doing new things? Because you don’t have a history to support or justify your decision, particularly if it doesn’t turn out the way you choose.

In the first chapter of my book, Trust Your Next Step: Creating the Confidence to Cut Fresh Tracks we take a deep dive into making a true decision and what it entails. Part of what we review is your awareness, intention, decision, and action.

The truth is most of us are not taught how to make a true decision, and yet decision-making is such an important aspect of our life as humans. We are gifted with the ability to choose. It’s what sets us apart from everything else. And to top it off, according to Fresh Tracker Dr. Gary Klein on the Fresh Tracks podcast, what many of us were taught about how to make decisions is completely wrong! Most decision-making is done on a subconscious level and happens quickly. Not plotted out on a flow chart.

Making decisions on a conscious level and cultivating confidence and trust in yourself involves some self-reflection. How do you make decisions (quickly, intuitively, slowly, after months of research, you don’t unless you have to)? How often do you stick with the decisions you do make?

Here are a few factors that may be playing a role in your ability, or inability, to make a true decision.

Trust
Making a decision is also an exercise in how much you trust yourself. Decision-making is overloaded with beliefs and feelings that you may not be aware of at first glance. Not trusting yourself or your ability to make the right decision, but also trusting yourself that you will follow through and stick to your decision once you’ve made it are key motivators behind these beliefs. Next time you are in a position to make a decision, slow down and listen to your body. What’s it telling you? And how much of that do you agree with?

Fear
Fear frequently reigns its ugly head when it’s time to make a decision. Particularly when cutting Fresh Tracks! We may be afraid to lose something in making one choice over another. Or we are unwilling to give up the status quo – even if we say we want change, our decision-making doesn’t support that. Where is fear coming up for you in your decision-making?

Mindset
One last factor that dramatically effects your decisions is your belief about your ability to complete the task. Your mindset affects your decision-making. So, when confronted with making a different choice or when cutting Fresh Tracks and approaching something new, stop and examine your mindset. What are your beliefs about the matter? Why does it matter to your decision? Do you believe yourself and what you are committing to?

Trusting yourself when making decisions, taking action from a place of power, and stepping boldly into your path and purpose are all reasons to continue moving forward on your path cutting Fresh Tracks.

I thank you for being with me on this journey and I look forward to both of us continuing to cut Fresh Tracks!

Discover the Next Steps to Your Fresh Tracks in Kelly’s free video training here now. 

Book Launch Lessons from a First-Timer

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After much waiting the book, Trust Your Next Step, has finally launched and is on the bookshelves. It has been a whirlwind month and I finally feel I have a moment to breathe. The support and encouragement from my friends and community has been overwhelming – I truly feel the love and it was unexpected.

For much of the last 17 years I have built and run my business largely online. Marketing the book has been different in a few ways and I’d like to share a few tidbits with you.

  1. Amazon is a different beast. As an author they have been incredibly easy to work with and helpful as I learn the ropes. However, unlike online sales through my website, I don’t know how many books I’ve sold until the publisher sends my royalty check in October!

  2. Making friends with book buyers at local bookstores is fun. An exercise in who do I know that can introduce me to who I want to know.

  3. Big differences in being a “local” author and self-publishing vs working with a publisher. Definitely are advantages and disadvantages to both. I choose to play with the big boys and not be a local author. So far that has not always worked in my favor at local bookstores.

  4. I now know a lot more about negotiating with publishers and will do some things differently next time. Who knows a literary agent?

  5. There is a world of ‘authors’, and there are folks who write books to grow their business and use their books as business cards. Not all of these books are well written, yet the purpose and the intention of the book is clear, it’s to support an overall structure and scalability of a business. Which am I and how do I show up has been a question I’m asking myself.

A month has passed and I’ve already done several things I will do differently next time. I won’t call them mistakes, just lessons I’ve learned about myself, what I want, and how I choose to show up and serve others in the world.

Introspection

As I write this I feel incredibly introspective as I mull where I stand and how I serve others. How big am I playing? Am I being true to myself? Could I, should I, have been more vulnerable in the book? How far am I going to push myself on this next book? Yes, I have started the next book – which takes chapter five, “The Stuff You’ve Got to Work With”, to a much deeper level.

I did my first book reading at a church. Which awes me. A few short years ago I not only didn’t go to church, but I had a hard time believing in God and struggled with organized religion. I had such a charge around all of it – of course I should have known all that “charge” was there for a reason. Exploring my truths about religion vs spirituality has been a big part of my journey the last six years. I now see that where I squirm the most is where the most reward is. Perhaps where I am supposed to be…

With that said, where are you squirming the most? Where are you staying within the boundaries set by others? Where are you not seeing the opportunity that most certainly surrounds you? Why are you not trusting yourself?

www.TrustYourNextStep.com