The biggest hurt I’ve experienced in my life was a betrayal by someone close to me. Like all betrayals, it caught me off guard and the truth is I didn’t recognize that it was a betrayal when it happened. It wasn’t an obvious betrayal such as someone cheating on me or someone close unexpectedly stealing money. But it was a betrayal none the less.
It took time to heal from that betrayal. To learn what it meant to me and why it happened in the first place. Our Fresh Tracks podcast guest, Debi Silber, speaks to us about healing from betrayal. She shares the five stages of healing from every betrayal as well as why it’s important to make meaning from the event in order to move forward.
Knowing how painful betrayal is and how it shatters our trust in such a powerful way, I thought it would be useful to investigate what it means to betray yourself.
Let’s take a look at some of the ways we betray our self:
- Making decisions because we fear the disapproval of others.
- Hiding who we are and trying to be who we think we should be to fit in.
- Thinking that people won’t love us if they know who we really are.
- Not voicing our opinion because we don’t want to rock the boat.
- Living our life in a way others want us to instead of how we choose to.
- Staying in a job we hate just to pay the bills, when we know there is something better for us.
- Not being our self because of someone else’s opinion.
- Being untrue or dishonest with our self.
What quickly happens is you don’t trust yourself to keep your word or that you will follow through with things. Which leads to disliking yourself and not living an authentic life. You struggle to create with intention and purpose.
Think you may have fallen into the self-betrayal trap? Here are a few steps you can take to stop this sabotaging pattern…
- Acknowledge the different ways you betray yourself.
- Take responsibility for your choices.
- Commit to honoring and loving yourself.
Trusting ourselves is one of the most important ways we create and manifest our lives with intention. Self-love is the opposite of self-betrayal. Accepting who we are and unconditionally loving where we’ve been is the path to embodying that we are whole and complete human beings, allowing us to add meaning and purpose in the world.
Having a difficult time seeing the truth for yourself? A Spiritual Coaching Session with Kelly will do just that for you. Schedule one here now.